The holiday season is still upon us!  Christmas and religious holiday are absolutely still in the air and the New Year is right around the corner.

If your holiday season is anything like mine, it’s all about traditions. Traditions have a funny way of playing with your emotions. If you’re taken and with the guy of your dreams (or the guys of your dreams for the moment) traditions are thrilling and make you feel filled with love. However, if you are not taken, this tends to be the time of the year where all of the negative feeling around “being single” surface.

I’ve talked to man women this holiday season who were struggling with feelings of being “alone”. It’s time to change the way you’re thinking about this- you’re never truly alone!

• Although it can be rare, cherish the time you get alone during the holidays. Use this time to recharge, relax, and focus on what you want out of the season!
• Let go of expectations- I think we all grow up watching movies and reading romantic stories of how people find love over the holidays, are so happy, get married, and live happily ever after. Remember, we live in reality; not cinema land. While this season is undoubtedly magical, it can be magical in all sorts of ways! Stop saying “my holidays were supposed to look like this” and start being thankful for how they really look! Gratitude is the best way to have a positive attitude!
•  Spend time on crafts, a home project, or start a new hobby you’ve always wanted to try! The holiday season can leave you with a good amount of down time once the presents are unwrapped and returning to school is still a few weeks away- use this time wisely!  Find something you love or rediscover a talent or hobby you used to be great at- doing something for yourself with only yourself will help you charge your batteries while teaching you to appreciate alone time!
• Give back! I’m a firm believer in helping others when I’m feeling down. My idea is when I’m feeling down about something, helping someone else, helps me to feel better! Donate your time to a favorite cause, offer to walk your elderly neighbor’s dog, shovel the drive for your friend who is out of town- when you see the smile on someone’s face that you helped, you’ll smile too’ it’s addictive!

Remember to focus on the positive as much as possible; be grateful for all that you have. Spend your time with family, friends, and yourself. Allow yourself to reboot and become the best ‘you’ possible. The best you possible will be able to put your best foot forward and prepare yourself for whatever (or whoever if that is the case) is to come in the New Year!

A few years ago I went through an experience in my life that taught me many lessons. I had just graduated college, was living on my own and alone for the first time in Chicago, and had a corporate sales job I had worked hard to earn. From the outside looking in, life was great. Everything had gone as planned and I was making it on my own.

The truth was? Life wasn’t perfect. I was struggling with the feelings and pressures of graduating college and “growing up”. I had just broken up with a boyfriend of three years. My best friend living near me had moved away. I was making it on my own in a small studio apartment that had cockroaches and loud neighbors. I was not enjoying my corporate sales job that I had always dreamed of; in fact, I had come to not like it at all.

I was spending most of my nights coming home from work to my small apartment, working more, and then losing myself in television, movies, or working out. Life had become redundant. I was living in my own little bubble because those I had depended on to help me in situations like these were gone.

As fate would have it, a few weeks after my redundant pattern began, a good friend of mine from college that I hadn’t spoken with in a while, invited me out one Saturday night for dinner with a group of her friends. She had another friend visiting from out of town that had just gotten engaged and wanted to celebrate. I reluctantly accepted and joined her and her friends out in the city. We celebrated, danced, ate, and had an outstanding Saturday night.

A few days later, the girls and I requested and accepted Facebook invitation, exchanged phone numbers, and began hanging out on a regular basis. Just like that, I had made a great group of new girlfriends.

Up to this point, living in Chicago, I had had a small group of girlfriends. A group of girlfriend I had met in college but subsequently once graduation happened, we sort of all went our separate ways. Some moved, some got boyfriends, and some became immersed in their jobs. All of us allowed other things to stand in the way of our friendship. All of us allowed our bond to diminish and fade away. When my best friend moved and I broke up with my boyfriend, I felt alone. I realized, I didn’t have as many friends as I thought. I realized I didn’t work hard enough to keep close to me the most important thing: my girlfriends. I was missing that group of people that helped me cope; that group of people that rejuvenated me and reminded me everything was going to work out.

As I began hanging out with this new group of women, I instantly felt connected with all of them. They were welcoming and a ton of fun to hang around. We did everything together, shopped, went to movies, gossiped, and socialized. They started to become my own little family in Chicago.

A few months into the five of us spending an abundant amount of time together, we were all sitting down at dinner when I felt the urge to say something. I started talking and expressed to them how much they meant to me. How much fun these last few months had been and how appreciative I was of them allowing me to “join” their group, no questions asked. It was right then, I started a new tradition in my close-knit group of friends: telling each other how much we care about each other. It was right then that I taught myself a powerful lesson: I need my girlfriends. As many people will always tell you, men come and go; jobs come and go; but girlfriends, good girlfriends, are truly with you forever.

We all had a misty emotional moment and went on eating and enjoying our night, but it really did something for me. Right then, I knew these women would always be a part of my life. They would always be my best friends. Not only had they been great support; they entered my life at a key time; A time where I needed a reminder as to how important friends really are.

These women not only made me feel rejuvenated and revitalized after a few horrible months; they saved my life. They taught me a life long lesson and helped me realize that girlfriends are the best possible cure to refresh and renew your outlook. No matter who may come and go in my life from here on out, I rest assured that I can always fall back on my friends; bad apartments, breakups, draining jobs and all.

I am writing this blog to you as a self proclaimed “professional shopper”. I love it. I could do it all day, every day. I know how it feels to love to shop. I know how it feels to buy a cute outfit and love the challenge to accessorize it perfectly. I know how it feels to want those amazing designer shoes and then find them half off! I know how it feels to be dressed in your “fool proof” outfit and feel ready to conquer the world… or even just your day. I know how it feels to have a closet full of little black dresses and find a way to justify one more because it would look perfect for the holiday party right around the corner.

But when does it all become too much? When does it move from one cuter outfit to becoming just too much… stuff?

With the holidays quickly approaching, it’s easy to draft long lists wish lists of these “must have” items. It’s equally as easy to get caught up in searching high and low to make sure we buy the most amazing and expensive presents for all the loved ones in our lives.

This morning I was drinking my morning coffee, trying to wake up, and watching the morning news. Coincidentally the news was discussing “cyber Monday” and urging me to rush online to begin my Christmas shopping before all of the “deals” were gone. The news then cut to clips from “black Friday” where shoppers were herded out of a popular store after a woman pepper sprayed them so she could reach the “deals” before the other shoppers did. Another clip showed a man unconscious and bleeding after he had been tackled to the ground by police for trying to shoplift all the “deals” from the store.

What’s happening to us? Have we become a community that cares so much about “stuff” that we forget about each other? Have we forgotten about what’s truly important?

What is truly important? I think that answer is different for everyone. You have to answer it for yourself. For me, the truly important things are not hanging in my closet; they are the ones that gather around me in the good times and bad. They are the people: my friends, family, and fiancé. Those that I can always count on to make me laugh, pick me up when I fall, and be there when the days are simply normal.

I encourage you to take this holiday season to evaluate your wants, needs, and “stuff”. Where do you stand? Is your closet busting at the seams but it’s been a while since you’ve called your grandma just to chat? Use this time to re-prioritize. Check in with those that matter most. Trade in the “stuff” for time and memories with those you love and I guarantee your heart will become richer and more full than the biggest and best closet in the world!

When it comes to my mom and I, we share many things: our looks, our style, our morning coffee ritual, our love for shopping, but most of all… our keen sense and intuition. My mom has always had a strong sense of insight; it began to go farther than that even when she started proving her feelings were right.

I remember one of the first times I started sincerely trusting her “feelings”. My friends called me to invite me to a local carnival that had come into town for the weekend. I hung up, ran to my mom for permission, and heard, “I’m sorry Stacy, you can’t go… I can’t explain it but I just have this horrible feeling. I don’t want you at that carnival.”

The next morning, I woke up, walked to the kitchen where my mom informed me someone had been seriously injured from a ride at the fair and remained in critical condition in the hospital.

I was stunned. I couldn’t believe what she had just said. She was right about the carnival. Her “terrible feeling” had become a reality and my anger quickly turned to gratitude; I was so glad it wasn’t me who was hurt.

There have been so many days my mom has called because “she felt like something was up…” and I’ve just gotten off the phone with a new ex-boyfriend, had a fight with a friend, or a horrible day at work. Her intuition has not only proved true, it’s been a key ingredient in our closeness and relationship. Her intuition encourages her to be there for me when I need her the most.

As I began to learn I shared this talent with my mom, I embraced it and talked with her about it. She has coached and encouraged me to always trust and listen to myself; no matter what.

Her coaching has proven true. I have dreams that come true; have kept myself from countless dangerous situations; and have even began calling friends and family when I have “funny feelings”, only to hear that something terrible has happened that day.

I felt her presence and my own intuition kick in one time when a group of friends wanted to walk home late at night because no one wanted to spend the money on a cab. Typically, I may not have thought twice but I had a weird feeling and offered to pay for the cab to ensure we got home safe. My friends thought I was being overprotective until we found out the next day that two peers were mugged on the same route we would have taken home the night before.

Today, I listen to it. Even if some people think I’m crazy to take a cab only a few blocks if I don’t feel comfortable walking home alone, I don’t care. It’s my intuition and it’s there for a reason.

Whether it’s our love for shopping, morning coffee ritual, or sense and intuition, I cherish all of the things my mom and I share. Some may think it’s bogus; some may believe it’s some sort of psychic ability; I believe… it’s one of the most important things my mom gave me and I’ll always respect and listen to it.

Who do you share something special with? Who has provided you with invaluable lessons you’ll always cherish?

Today I spent my day with a wonderful group of women at an all girls boarding high school on the East Coast.

I’m going to be honest: I never know what to expect when I walk in to an all girls schools. I’ve been to some of the most amazing schools full of wonderful leaders. I’ve also visited schools full of… let’s just say, not so nice young ladies. Girls many would label as “mean girls.”

Let’s face it; I hear it all of the time: “Stacy, girls can be really mean to other girls.” Unfortunately, this is true. I’ve seen some amazing groups of women tear each other apart.

I’ve watched best friends never talk again over what they’ll refer to down the road to as “some guy” who was stringing them both along. I’ve watched two of the best female athletes (and best friends) I’ve ever known discontinue their relationship because one received a scholarship to the school they both wanted to attend and the other didn’t. I’ve even watched a “best friend” steal another friends’ boyfriend; only to dump him the second the popular kids stopped caring about the scandal; proving it only to be about the attention.

What’s going on ladies? When did we lose our sense of girl power, female empowerment, and the idea that “best friends stick together”?

The young women I spent my afternoon with proved these theories otherwise. I was so impressed with the attitude and confidence in these young adults that I had to write about them in hopes we would all look to them as leaders; Women who value and cherish their best friends through it all.

At the end of my program, the staff thanked the ladies for being an attentive audience and threw on a “dance party” CD to get their Friday afternoon started with a bang! The women shot out of their seats, ran to the stage, laughing and dancing for the next twenty minutes. They were in the moment; just being themselves.

I sat back and watched in awe. How many of us are so quick to celebrate the small things? Celebrate women? Celebrate how lucky we are to have such amazing women in our lives? It’s too easy to overlook.

These women have an amazing lesson to teach: love your girlfriends; keep each other close; don’t compete with others- love others. GIRL POWER!

My best friends are some of the most amazing, accomplished women I know. They continue to amaze and challenge me to be better every day. I hope everyone has women like them in their lives. If not, find some; the friends that truly make you better- the ones that help raise you up and celebrate all of your accomplishments by your side.

I hope you learn and take something away from these young ladies. I sure did. They helped remind me to celebrate the amazing women in my life!

DL,

Stacy